I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize