THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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