just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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