Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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