would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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