Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
