Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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