I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
