so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
