I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize