ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
