they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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