we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
