My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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