my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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