Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
