Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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