I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
