I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
