I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
