can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My penis needs a shock collar
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
