ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
