Do you still have your period?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
