youre lurking in front of me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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