explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
