I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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