Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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