you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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