Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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