i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
