Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize