Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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