You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
