Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
