it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
