I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
