How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
