why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
