I heard we made out
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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