I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
