Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
