I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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