i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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