this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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