pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We got so high we made milksteak
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Drake has all the answers
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
