I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize