Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
