And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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