She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
