He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
