It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize