so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You are the jesus of drinking
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
