just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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