Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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