You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize