My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
