Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
