"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
