i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
no, he came in my armpit
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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