How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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